With all the bad relationship advice out there, women are beginning to really buy into these unrealistic ideas of what a relationship takes. Memes with relationship quotes about the perfect man and the perfect relationship raise expectations without necessarily raising standards. In fact, most women are hoping to squish the man they’re with into these unrealistic molds rather than realizing she shouldn’t be with him in the first place.
5 Dumb Relationship Quotes You Need to Stop Believing
“People build walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
No. No. NO. This is just gamey, jaded bullshit. If you put up walls, prepare to be alone. No one is going to take the time to smash them down because if they don’t even know you, how do they know it’s worth the effort? How can someone care about you if you won’t let them? This just frustrates the people who genuinely want to be a part of your life. You are testing people that have nothing to do with why you have walls in the first place—how is that fair?
Not to mention that when people build walls, they never really come down. Essentially, you take them down and allow someone in until you get scared and just throw them right back up. How do you expect to have a healthy and happy relationship if you keep pushing someone away? If they keep coming back for more, they are probably just as damaged. It doesn’t mean they care more than someone who tried really hard but left because you kept pushing them away.
Truth: Don’t push someone away if you genuinely don’t want them to go away. There is no perfect white knight who will crash through your walls.
New Quote to Live By:
“Be cautious of who you give it to, but wear your heart on your sleeve. Love has no limits when given freely.”
“True love isn’t easy but it must be fought for. Because once you find it, it can never be replaced.”
The first part of this is right on, but it’s the second half of this relationship quote that makes it dumb. Can you define true love? Regardless if you find the person you fall in love with, marry and live happily ever after with—does it invalidate the love you felt in the past? Finding a new person to love does not mean you didn’t love the person or people before. Maybe you just loved them in a different way and that’s okay.
Basically this quote is telling you not to fuck up or you’ll be alone forever. But, what if you’re in love with a real controlling asshole? What if you love the guy and think it’s real true love, so you’re afraid to stop fighting for the relationship because it could be your last chance.
Breakups all have the capability of feeling like the end of the world. When you’re in love it always feels like “it.” Then you move on to the next relationship and then that one feels like “it.”
Truth: If you are open to love, you will always find it. No, it may not be in the same exact way—but where’s the fun in that?
New Quote to Live By:
“True love isn’t easy, but it must be fought for, because if love isn’t worth fighting for—then what is?”
“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.”
Another big NO. Your happiness should be the most important happiness that exists in your world. You got me?
So it’s “love” to give, give and give to make someone else happy and not worry about your own happiness? It’s unrealistic to think that you’ll be happy 100% of the time. Yes, making other people happy can lift our spirits too, but that can’t be your only source of happiness. When we focus on what makes us blissful, only then are we truly able to have enough of ourselves to give to someone else.
This is one of those stupid relationship quotes that leaves women thinking that they should neglect themselves and give their all to someone else. Then when it doesn’t work out, what are you left with? Nothing. An empty hole because all your pleasure revolved around someone else.
Truth: Your happiness is the most important happiness that exists in your world.
New Quote to Live By:
“Love is sharing your own happiness with another person, who wants to share theirs with you.”
“No man is worth your tears, but the one who is will never make you cry.”
This relationship quote is just fucking stupid. Newsflash: Even the nicest, most well-intentioned man has the capability of making you cry. Why? Because men are bumbling idiots at points—most of them don’t understand women and therefore sometimes have no clue as to how (or that) they’ve upset you.
People (men included) have moments of weakness and aren’t always perfect. We all say things we wish we hadn’t. We can’t always control our emotions before they become actions and words done or said to someone else. But there’s a difference between a good guy making you cry and an asshole who enjoys hurting you. Understand that difference.
Truth: Just because the man you love makes you cry at times doesn’t mean he isn’t worth it.
New Quote to Live By:
“An asshole is never worth your tears.”
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Okay, before I rip apart this relationship quote, I’m going to say something that might offend a few of you out there but it needs to be said. “Marilyn Monroe was not a role model.”
Don’t get me wrong, I believe she was a beautiful soul, wasn’t afraid to be herself, said some wise things and my heart genuinely hurts that she never found her way out of the dark hole that consumed her. But that’s just it. She died never knowing what self-love is all about. Had she come out the other side and stood strong saying, “I’ve been there baby, it was awful, but I made it through,” then maybe I could take some of her “wise” words and apply them to life.
This quote can be taken two ways and more often than not I think people use it as a license to be a total asshole and expect the other person to be okay with it. No. You don’t get to treat people badly and then tell them if they can’t handle it then they don’t deserve you at “your best.”
Here’s the thing: You should always treat your partner with love and respect and vice-versa. Your worst shouldn’t directly affect the relationship. For example, I was at my worst over the past several months. I was stressed, irritable, emotional and negative. While there are plenty of men that couldn’t handle being around someone like that, my boyfriend supported me through it. However, at no point was I awful, embarrassing or disrespectful to my man. He absolutely deserves me at my best.
The Truth: If you are awful to people, don’t expect them to stick around.
New Quote to Live By:
“If you can’t be there for me through the rain, you don’t deserve to share my time in the sun.”
Do you agree with these? What are some ridiculous relationship quotes you’ve seen?
Image credit: Shutterstock
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