Chances are if you have a great relationship, it didn’t get that way from the two of you being attached at the hip. We do a lot together and we have a very passionate relationship which I am grateful for. When we want to get steamy together, we have the best time. We have even considered getting some toys from sites like www.sextoyinsider.com to make it even better. However, whilst my boyfriend and I spend an exorbitant amount of time together–there are plenty of things we do outside our relationship, which inadvertently make it stronger and even more passionate.
1. Have Friends, Real Ones
If you’re one of those girls that ditches her friends when she gets in a relationship, you need to reevaluate. Yes, my boyfriend is my best friend. When I have any sort of problem to whine about or accomplishment to celebrate, he’s my number one. But he’s certainly not the only one.
Having friends doesn’t mean you’re obligated to a weekly “girls night” with your single and otherwise friends where you don a skimpy dress and go clubbing. It’s simply important to have a person or two you can trust outside of your relationship bubble. A true friend is someone you can spend time with at any time of day, in any setting. If you’re only doing the club scene with these people, they may not exactly be solid friend material.
Even though my best friend Melissa and I are incredibly busy, we generally tend to meet up every other week or so to “download.” Whether we grab dinner, stay in and watch a movie, snag coffee or have a play date for our dogs-we make it a priority to see each other.
It feels so good to have someone outside my relationship to offer a fresh perspective, not only on my love life but also on my life, period.
How-to tip: Start examining your current relationships and if there’s someone whose friendship is valuable, make more of an effort with them.
2. A Fitness Regime
Your body isn’t just your temple; it’s his too. You should absolutely want to look good for you, but why not look good for him while you’re at it?
When I started to focus on my personal health and fitness, I started to feel better about myself both mentally and physically. I enjoyed my workouts, the endorphins boosted my mood, and my confidence grew as I started to love what I saw in the mirror.
We all hit lulls in our relationships and dedicating a corner of your life to your physical well-being can also really rejuvenate your sex life. Before you know it, your bedroom antics will almost replicate the videos you can find on https://www.tubev.sex/categories/1520/kinky. The surge in confidence paired with how sexy he thinks you’re looking might turn you into an animal craving satisfaction, and he’ll be happy to deliver. You might then both find you’re once again animalistic in your desires for each other, something a little like you might see couples display when viewing amateur filmed pornography from websites such as videoshd.xxx or elsewhere.
How-to tip: Get a gym buddy. If one of your friends has a routine you want, ask for her help. Now you’re doing both the gym and the friendship thing.
3. There’s No Time, Like Alone Time
At The Indie Chicks we always talk about your “sense of self.” There’s that version of you that wakes up, completely clean and essentially unlabeled. It’s the you before you become a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, employee-whatever. That’s the person you need to foster and care for, that’s the person you need to have alone time for.
The moment I know I’ll have a night to myself I can feel the possibilities start to swim around in my head. Maybe I’ll work on some art, catch up on writing or just zone out in front of the TV snuggling with my puppy. Or depending on the mood, I could even think about looking after myself by feeding your sexual desires and watch something similar to these free big pussy videos in my alone time. Whatever I decide it’s 100% just for me and I’m thrilled to have it.
When you spend all your free time with your significant other, that sense of self can start to fade. Alone time is essential to recharging and revitalizing the you that he loves.
How-to tip: If you aren’t able to have the entire place to yourself, claim a corner of it. You can go in the bedroom to read or ask him to go watch his show elsewhere so you can set up an easel to paint. Do whatever works.
4. Get Some Traveling Pants
Not everyone has the opportunity to go on multiple exotic trips a year with their significant other, so the possibility of traveling without them might have you thinking I’m crazy, but really, hear me out.
While my guy and I have plenty of things in common, we also have a lot of different interests. My idea of an amazing vacation is lying by the pool and doing absolutely nothing while he can hardly sit still for 10 minutes. He can take or leave travel, while I feel like I might die if I can’t up and go whenever I get the itch.
It could be a weekend trip to the beach with girlfriends or a week long European dream vacation, either way you’re having sensory experiences outside of your relationship that you can share with them later. Travel rounds you out, gives you perspective and adds excitement to your life. I definitely miss my man when I’m gone, but I love coming home after some time away and getting the special “welcome home” treatment.
How-to tip: Start small. An overnight hotel stay in a nearby city with your best friend is a great first step.
5. A Passion
If you are not in love with something outside of your relationship, you’re doing it wrong. It’s perfectly okay for your significant other to be the sun in your sky, your moon and stars-but not the entire landscape.
Being passionate about something feeds parts of you that you might not know exists. Not to mention it’s sexy as hell to see someone actively thriving in their element.
Whether it’s a hobby, a business, philanthropy, travel, cooking, writing or creating art, you need to share your love. Fueling your passion for something else won’t take away from the passion for your man; two separate flames make a bigger one, right?
How-to tip: Listen to yourself. Take that alone time and focus on what it is that you love to do. Then start taking steps in the direction to pursue it.
It might not make logical sense that you and your mate can grow closer together by doing things outside of your relationship, but even just giving a couple of these a solid effort will make a great relationship better and do wonders for a struggling one.
*This article was first published in the January 2014 issue of Indie Chick Magazine.
Image credit: Shutterstock
- How to Be Independent in a Relationship - January 17, 2019
- The 3rd Annual Holiday Fit Girl Gift Guide - December 13, 2018
- Workwear for Athletic Bodies: Get the Look - September 13, 2018
