How Some Feminists are Ruining Feminism

How Some Feminists are Ruining Feminism

Hi. I’m Chrystal, and I’m a feminist. Get this: I wear makeup and LOVE men. I don’t even blame them for my problems! Oh yeah, but I don’t shave because I just went and had all the unwanted hair lasered off. Forget the carpet—I’m rocking waxed floors. beyonce feminism

One thing I stand by is that I believe in equal opportunities and rights for women. I also believe in fighting violence against women. Hell, even Queen B is a feminist. (How can you go against her??)

Victims, Man Haters & Equality (Oh My!)

Seeing this article about why these 14 women say they don’t need feminism blew my mind. (Read that at your own risk-it enraged our staff here at The Indie Chicks.) I blame the extreme feminists for presenting a heavily skewed vision of what feminism actually is, but I’ll get more into that later.

Unfortunately, these women are idiots and have no idea what they’re saying they don’t need. They are totally lost on the principles of feminism. I don’t think they even know the definition of the words feminist, equality or empowerment.

Rather than respond to each thought challenged woman individually, I’ve outlined some of their common stereotypes about why they don’t need feminism:

I Believe in Real Equality

This in a nutshell makes you a feminist. Real equality hasn’t yet happened and we are moving there slowly. It’s going to take a combined effort of empowering women to stand up and go after positions of leadership as well as society as a whole making room for us.

I Can Take Responsibility for My Actions

I’m not sure why these women think that being a feminist = placing blame for one’s own actions. This isn’t about sitting around having pity parties crying about why life is so unfair and blaming men. It’s about addressing the problem and taking action.

I Am Not a Victim

or….Women are made out to be gullible and weak. I am not a target for violence and there is no war against me.

This goes along with a quote I read the other day—Saying you don’t need feminism because you aren’t a victim is like saying you don’t need a fire extinguisher because your house isn’t on fire.

It’s ridiculous. You may be one of the few women who have dodged violence, abuse and rape but there are so, so many others who haven’t. There IS a war on women albeit an unofficial one. Take a hard look at the stats and tell me that men are 100% in the same position. We are not yet equal until the overall violence against our gender drops dramatically.

I Am Equal (Vote, Pay, Education, Run for Office)

Let’s be clear here. We as women are able to vote because of feminism. All the opportunities you’ve been afforded as an equal counterpart to the male gender—is because of feminism. So if you think that you should still be able to vote, go to school, have a job and run for office, you my dear, have a need for feminism.

People like to argue that men make more money because they work more hours. This is true in some respect when it comes to the women who choose to work part time or not work overtime to spend time with their families. But, we are yet to make the same hourly pay—for doing the same job.

Feminists Speak (Bitch/Scream) for All Women and I Don’t Support All Their Views

I am fortunate to have a voice and a platform. I don’t speak for all women, I don’t think that’s possible, but I can speak for the ones that don’t have a voice and want someone to speak on their behalf. In fact, most of the women who are oppressed are stuck without a voice. Most likely if you are reading this, you aren’t one of those women.

I Don’t Need to Be Empowered

You don’t need empowerment? So you are 100% perfect with perfect drive and ambition and feel great about yourself all the time and have zero desire for anything better? Do you empower yourself? That is still empowerment. Do you think you’d have the ability to reach your dreams and goals without any level of empowerment?

Men empower each other all the time. It’s not something new or something feminists dreamed up. Lifting someone else or yourself up is not a bad thing and no matter who you are, whether it comes from outside or from within, if you want to get anywhere in life—you need it.

It Has Turned from a Rights Movement to A “Sexist, Corrupt and Hateful Organization. Hate Movement

First, feminism isn’t an organization. I would agree that the extremists have really turned feminism into something ugly—doesn’t change the meaning of the word or movement though. There will always be people who take things further than intended-with just about anything really. Don’t let a few bad eggs spoil the good of what the movement stands for.

I Respect Men and Don’t Need to Belittle Them to Empower Myself

or…I refuse to demonize them for my problems. Respecting my spouse as the “man of the house” doesn’t make me less of a woman. The men in my life already treat me with respect. 

Empowerment doesn’t mean belittlement of someone else. You can still respect men and believe in equality. I respect men as well and I don’t demonize them either. In fact, there are several men who have empowered me, mentored me and genuinely helped me in my career and life in general. I owe so much to these men. Wanting what I have for others or wanting women as a whole to be equals does not take away that gratitude or acknowledgement.

It’s 100% correct that respecting your husband as “the man of the house” doesn’t make you less of a woman at all. But, that is your choice. If you chose to wear the proverbial pants or be the breadwinner, that’s your choice as well—feminism gives you that choice.

Just Stahp

Being a feminist isn’t about being a victim. The #YesAllWomen tag didn’t flare up because we all want to sit around and blame men for the wrongs of the world.

It flared up because women are beginning to realize that the majority of us have experienced some sort of violence, including rape.

It flared up because so many of our attackers are barely slapped on the wrist (please watch this!) if at all.

It flared up because we’re sick of feeling like we owe our affection, attention or vagina to a man just because he likes us.

It flared up because we are sick of hearing statistic like:

  • 85% of assault or rape victims know their attacker.
  • More than half of female rape victims are younger than 18 upon experiencing their first attempted or completed rape.
  • 64% of women reported rapes and physical assault after age 18 were from current or former intimate partners.

Having been a victim doesn’t make you a victim. Sharing your story so another woman going through something similar, can find strength, is not being a victim.

Feminism isn’t an excuse to sit around and cry all day about being victims, it’s to some day put an end to the violence against our gender. To have both our minds and bodies treated with respect. Our lack of physical strength in comparison to men should be a non-issue but the way things are currently, it is.

Feminists Are the Problem

Yeah, I said it. Feminists are holding feminism back. Extreme feminists who hate and blame men, who judge other women’s feminism, who want to rally and burn their bras all day long—terrify the ever-living shit out of the modern day woman.

Like the uproar from the “feminist community” that ensued because Miss Nevada thinks women should know how to protect themselves against attacks. No assholes, she wasn’t “victim blaming” she was showing the other side of the coin. Yes, we should raise our boys not to rape (or murder, or steal, or chew with their mouths open) but we need a double-pronged approach, especially because we’re not yet living in that age of equality and pretending we are won’t make the potential danger go away. Boys grow into men and even with the knowledge of right from wrong; they can still do bad things. Just like women can. If we can’t stop a problem before it starts just yet, then we need to teach women to empower themselves and kick some ass if need be. Not because you are in the wrong for being attacked, but because it may save your life if you are.

It’s time we as women get on the same page about feminism and what we are fighting for (and who we aren’t fighting against). Women shouldn’t be afraid of calling themselves a feminist in fear that it’s a word synonymous with hate, being a victim, weak or having to look a certain way. Women should be proud to support and empower each other and themselves, helping to pave the way to gender equality for us all.

Image credit for Beyonce Picture

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Chrystal Rose
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