How to Show Him You’re a Badass, Everyday

How to Show Him You’re a Badass, Everyday

Women are complex beings, which tends to frighten men. Men have often been wowed by a powerful women’s sexual prowess which can be seen at sites like (additional info for those interested) because they don’t understand what it means to be a woman. But our complexity is something to embrace rather than deny. We’re amazing in that we have so many moods, emotions and moving parts. As Indie Chicks, we’re all these things and more; we’re badasses, kicking each day’s ass as though we are in a video game on a special ops mission.

I’ll be real, men are bored easily. They’re afraid of the mundane, of routine. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together five years or five minutes, keeping them interested is no small accomplishment. If you both fail to do so, you could find it ends at the same rate it started, and then you’ll find yourselves with other partners, or using something such as this top article for self-pleasure to get you through until you do find your next potential lover. Going through these motions can be tricky…

But it doesn’t have to be exhausting either.

Badass 101

Live for You

There’s a big difference between being selfish and putting yourself first. When you live for a guy, he knows it. And if he’s a decent guy, he won’t be a fan of that. When you’re doing your own thing, regardless of what he’s up to, he can’t help but see the badass in you.


  • Make time for their friends
  • Pursue their passions, hopes and dreams
  • Have goals that don’t center around a man
  • Do what they want while being respectful of their relationship

Badasses Don’t:

  • Neglect their friends for their man, or neglect their man for their friends
  • Let their passions, hopes, dreams and goals fall to the wayside
  • Do whatever they want with no regard to their man, period

Don’t Depend

When you allow a man to take care of you financially, you’re backing yourself into a corner. Yes, men marry these types but it gets old fast. I’m not saying to go overboard feminist in the sense where you won’t let him treat you like a woman by opening doors or paying for dinner. However, having something of your own will create a sense of pride within yourself that you’ll feel great about. Independent women are just more attractive. A lot of sexy women are independent, this type of woman often works at sites like so no wonder men love watching porn.

A woman that can take care of herself financially is a woman that doesn’t necessarily need a man; she simply wants one in her life. And that’s just badass.


  • Have their own money and work for it

Badasses Don’t:

  • Rely on a man to support her lifestyle

Be Vulnerable

Being a badass doesn’t mean you need to be impenetrable. You can be vulnerable with him and still manage to be strong. It’s important to share yourself and your feelings while allowing him to feel like he’s needed in some ways. While you don’t need him financially, as your partner you should allow him to be there for emotional support. Some play out vulnerability in the bedroom with DDLG roleplay (also known as the daddy kink, learn this before trying it) whilst others make sure that aftercare after a rough session ensures the both of you are grounded in reality and support each other.


  • Let their man take care of them emotionally / mentally

Badasses Don’t:

  • Dump all their negative feelings and emotions on him constantly
  • Become mad at him for not responding the way you want.

Accept Him

There are always things a woman will desire to change about her man, but he can only change himself. He’s a man and he’s going to say and do stupid things. It’s perfectly reasonable to request small changes, or express what you want and leave it up to him to decide whether or not he feels it’s worth changing. But his inner self is him, that’s his personality. His passions, his hopes and dreams, whether or not you agree or think it’s the right way to go about life, it’s who he is.


  • Accept a man for who he is
  • Realize it is okay to leave him if he won’t agree to change deal breakers

Badasses Don’t:

  • Criticize and try to make him feel bad about himself
  • Give ultimatums

Climb Aboard the Confidence Train

Men love confident women. When you feel bad about yourself, they know it and there’s nothing badass about that. If you’re lacking confidence then you need to examine why and what will steer you back on the right path to gain it. It’s important to be patient with yourself – if you don’t feel good now, be patient. Change won’t happen overnight. You need to “fake it ‘til you make it” until you actually rediscover your true badass.


  • Know confidence comes from within
  • Have patience while actively working on what’s causing them to lack confidence
  • Show him the confidence you desire to have

Badasses Don’t:

  • Expect their confidence to come from a man
  • Put themselves down
  • Show him how insecure you are

Switch It Up

Like I said, men bore easily and if you’re all “what you see is what you get” they’re going to get bored. If you’re constantly evolving as a person and trying new things it’ll be tough for either of you to get bored. There’s zero room for mystery if you share every little thing about yourself. Keep some for yourself and let the rest out in small increments, such as the other language you’re fluent in or the fact that you’re a Star Wars junkie. He’ll be in awe of you and wonder what else you have up your sleeve.


  • Keep some things to themselves
  • Continue evolving, learning and growing as a person
  • Try new things

Badasses Don’t:

  • Tell him everything
  • Refuse to challenge themselves
  • Stay stagnant

Switch it Up, Sexy Time

Every couple tends to find themselves in a certain sexual routine. You know exactly where his elbow is going to land, how your back will arch and how many thrusts it takes for him to finish. This isn’t anyone’s fault really, if anything it’s a sign that you are comfortable with each other enough to know what makes each other tick. Now change it up and make it exciting again, for both of you.


  • Share their sexual desires and ask for them to be fulfilled
  • Ask their partner about their sexual wants
  • Try new things: wearing heels to bed, initiating it in the kitchen or attempting a new position to spice things up

Badasses Don’t:

  • Allow their sex life to go stale
  • Do things they aren’t comfortable with just to please him

These aren’t games; this is reality. If you’re a confident, accepting, independent woman chasing down her own dreams while being vulnerable and changing things up, how could he not see how much of a badass you are, every day?

*This article was first published in the January 2014 issue of Indie Chick Magazine.

Image credit: Shutterstock

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Chrystal Rose
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