Having as many guy friends as I do, it was inevitable that at some point I’d be asked how to hit on a gym crush. My first, knee jerk response was, “Ugh, just don’t.” After becoming more involved in the fitness community (I swear I spend half my life at fitness club like Santa Barbara Athletic Club!) and seeing so many happy swolemates who found love in the gym; I began to realize that there is a right (and very rare) and oh so wrong (the more common approach) way to go about hitting on a girl in the gym.
Don’t be a douche
One of the absolute worst things you can do is think that the “damsel in distress” card is going to work here. If you see your gym crush lifting something heavy, it’s because she wants to and most likely because she’s capable of it. She doesn’t want your help carrying plates, moving boxes or setting up equipment. Asking her if/telling her that the weight she’s lifting is too heavy for her, comes off condescending– not like you’re some knight in shining armor.
If you have a tip on her form, be cool about it. Wait until after she finishes a set and say something like, “Hey I noticed your knees buckle just a bit when you’re coming up from your squat. Try focusing on pushing your knees out, that will help. Otherwise, looks great!” Or if you catch her missing a rep, “You totally had that, try to ____ next time.”
Most of the time a fit chick is going to want to be left alone, so at first lengthy conversations aren’t going to happen. But that doesn’t mean you can’t lay some subtle groundwork. Familiarity breeds fondness, so say hi or wave when you see her. Smile when you catch her eye.
Don’t be creepy
If there are 23 treadmills open and you choose the one next to hers. If you are constantly asking her if she needs a spot. If you are lucky enough to spot her and then touch her inappropriately. If you are constantly staring at her…
This is creepy as hell and you need to stop.
Women like compliments, so it goes without saying that your gym crush won’t mind if you toss one her way now and then. Want to really get her attention? Keep the compliment performance based, rather than about her looks.
“You have killer form!”
“I saw you deadlifting earlier, you’re pretty damn strong!”
“I see you come in here every day and just kill it. You’re a badass.”
“Your hard work motivates me.”
Maybe even ask her to spot you. This shows that you think she’s strong, capable and you’re putting some trust into her. Those are all things that will have a fit chick floating on air.
Don’t bug her
Like I mentioned before, most women in the gym just want to focus on their workout and be left alone, so there is a fine line between bugging her and getting her attention.
- Do not try to talk to her when she is in the middle of a set or focused on her workout
- Do make your approach when she is resting in between sets
- Do not take up more than a minute or so of her time, even if she seems receptive to chatting
- Do make quick conversation and let her get back to it
- Do not ask her to take out her headphones
- Do be observant and notice if she’s wearing a ring or if you regularly see her come in with her boyfriend
- Do not just walk up to a girl you’ve never seen before and ask for her number
I don’t really recommend attempting this with multiple women (gyms are small bro), you may want to be extremely subtle if you are trying to put your eggs into multiple fit chick baskets.
Kill your workout
You and your gym crush are (hopefully) there for the same reason so don’t spend the whole time following her around with your eyes (or physically). Acknowledge her, say hi, toss a compliment, whatever– but do what you came there for.
Personally, it’s pretty attractive seeing a guy in one of his gym stringers who is super focused on his training and isn’t aware of how hot he is, or who is watching.
After you build up somewhat of a familiarity and rapport with your gym crush, it’s time to take it out of the gym. Make sure you catch her at a good time and start small. Ask her if she wants to grab a protein shake together after your workout or ask her if she wants to train together. Don’t put her on the spot and ask for the same day. If you know what days she’s there, toss out a day or two.
It can be tough to find the right moment to talk to her, but if you are patient you just might end up with your swolemate.
Have you had success with a gym crush? What did you do to land your fit chick?
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