“You’ll find love when you least expect it.” ~Every person that has found love
Look, I’m not telling you to be passive in any area of your life and still expect great things to happen. I’m not telling you that if you hide in your house, love is going to jump out at you. What I’m telling you is that when you are actively searching for love, it’s similar to chasing your own shadow. When you chase, it runs away but when you’re off minding your own business, it follows you.
Letting love find you isn’t passive—it’s active in the sense that while you’re off doing other things and building a happy life, you’re simultaneously creating a person with a higher level of consciousness. This person won’t pay any mind to the type of people that aren’t good for them and will begin to attract higher quality and emotionally ready (stable) potential partners. So when the right person and real love comes along, you genuinely won’t expect it because you’ve been too busy to pine for someone.
1. Be Open
Being open to love is not the same as looking for it. When you are open to possibilities, you understand that love can come in many forms. It may not look like what you thought it would. You see, we all have in our mind what the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with looks like, but looks are irrelevant here. That’s why they call them “soulmates” and not “perfect facial structure mates.” The right person for you has all the qualities that fit you, within their soul.
You may meet the right person at a seemingly “wrong” place. It happens. Counting someone out because you met them somewhere you don’t think is a “relationship material” location is something you need to get over. Paths cross at random times, in random places. Trust in serendipity and go with it.
Most of all, be open to the possibility that it could happen. Telling yourself that you don’t want a relationship or that you aren’t going to meet the right guy is futile. The best headspace to be in when love finds you is the one where you are open to a relationship, but perfectly okay without one.
2. Close Doors
You might like a guy but something doesn’t sit right. You might go on a great first date, but not feel like going out with him again. This is totally okay. All too often we keep seeing someone we’re not really into, because we feel like we need to be dating someone and then we just end up settling.
This is an exorbitant waste of time. How is love supposed to find you when you’re spending all your time with people you feel “meh” about? Instead, take the time to dedicate to your friendships, your family and to activities you enjoy.
This goes for exes too. Love is not going to find you there. Past relationships are broken futures. Close that door, seal it and move on. That is one door love is most definitely not waiting behind.
3. Find a Passion
When you’re passionate about something there is a glow about you. Passion and love tend to go hand in hand, and when you have a passion for life and immerse yourself into something you greatly enjoy, it emanates from you like pheromone perfume. You will draw people in without even realize you’re doing it. It’s really quite sexy.
When I met my fiancé it was very clear to me how passionate he was about his job, and I freaking loved it. His eyes even light up when he talks about his hobbies. He throws himself into them and thoroughly enjoys himself. More people should do that. It’s so boring and unattractive when someone doesn’t like what they do. It’s even more boring and unattractive when people don’t even have a hobby or a side gig that they love.
Bring passion into your life and I guarantee it will keep on flowing in more ways than one.
4. Be Busy
When you’re busy, the last thing on your mind is finding a mate. Who even has time for that? A full work schedule, social calendar, fitness regimes and philanthropic adventures can make time fly by. Your life will not only appear to be full, it genuinely will be full.
Being busy will also keep you from going on dates with people you aren’t interested in (come on, we’ve all done it). You might think to yourself that you’re too busy for love, and of course this is when love usually tends to find us– at the very most inconvenient time possible.
No matter how busy you are, you can always make time for the right person. That’s just how it works.
5. Be the Best Version of You
We will never be perfect and there will always be more to learn, more to do and more to strive for. Just when you think you’re done, there’s always more to do. We can always be better than we were yesterday.
A great relationship is one that pushes you both to be better people, naturally. Starting out trying to be the best person you can be is going to attract other high quality people like yourself. The happiest, healthiest version of you is bound to attract the same in a counterpart.
Love is something you need to find in yourself, before true outside love can find you. And when the time is right, regardless of what you think, it could happen at anytime, especially when you least expect it.
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