Whether it be a job, relationship or friendship you may have asked yourself if it’s worth moving forward with, or if you should simply jump ship. This is rarely a rational decision and is more so based on emotions, which is why when all signs point to jumping ship—we hang on just a little bit longer.
I get it. I’m a tenacious little pit bull who won’t let go of something until I’m positive it has died. But is that the best way? Could we spare ourselves some heartache and cut things off sooner? Do we have to watch everything crumble and fall apart before we’re sure, or can we see that there’s simply no way to right this ship and jump off?
4 Times You Should Jump Ship
1. You Aren’t Happy
Happiness is something that many of us overlook. It’s almost like you assume that if you’re not happy then you’re doing it right. Happiness is that light at the end of the tunnel that if you just do this, this, and this for ‘x’ amount of time in moderate misery THEN you can be happy.
What kind of fucked up logic is that?
While, no, you aren’t going to be happy all day every day (unless you’re some sort of freak of nature), you should still feel mostly happiness when it comes to whatever aspect of your life it is. You should be happy with the person you’re with. You should be happy with your friends. You should be happy with your job.
When it comes to relationships, unhappiness doesn’t just spring up one day. Usually, it’s a slow burn before you realize that this “bestie” is a total soul suck or your boyfriend is treating you like shit. If you’ve tried to make your relationships better and the other person isn’t coming around, they might not be as committed as you are, and realizing that is when it might be time to consider jumping ship.
It does get a little tricky when it comes to your career though, because honestly you aren’t going to love everything about your job. And more often than not you’re using your current job as a stepping stone or a placeholder for what you’re working towards. That’s totally cool, but realize that if you’re making yourself sick with stress, frequently going home and getting hammered to forget about the terrible day you’ve had or constantly saying that you hate your job—it’s definitely time to reevaluate.
2. You Keep Waiting for It to Get Better
You’ve been at this for awhile (too long it seems) and you keep thinking it will get better. Maybe you’re waiting for other factors to fall into place at work, or for your significant other to finally get their shit together, but that day never comes.
There are only so many things within your control, and if your boss has been dangling a carrot for an exorbitant about of time or you’re waiting for your man to change, you have to realize you can’t control either factor.
Waiting for it to get better is the equivalent of not making a decision. You’re literally allowing other people to dictate what happens to your life. Are you seriously comfortable with that?
There have been times where I’ve had to stop and tell myself—this is as good as it’s going to get. That realization can paralyze a person or motivate, but only you get to decide which one. If you come to the realization that it’s not going to get better then it’s high time you jump ship.
3. You Keep Waiting for It to Be the Way It Used to Be
Unfortunately, most things (and people) start off way too good to be true. After awhile when you settle into that job, it might no longer be as fun as it used to be. Maybe your super cool boss is no longer super or cool. That guy you fell for really hard? Yeah he’s pulled a complete 180 and now he barely seems like the same guy.
Whatever it was that started out so great and so promising has now left you with a bad taste in your mouth. Yet, you’re sticking around because if it went back to the way it used to be, you’d be happy. That’s why you’re here now right? It started out awesome, you went with it and suddenly (well probably more like gradually) it’s not so awesome anymore. Do you wait it out and hope it goes back to how things used to be? Or do you jump ship?
This is tricky, and probably one of the main reasons people take so long to realize that it’s not working and jump ship. Having experienced the greatness of what things could be makes it really, really hard to walk away. You convince yourself if only x, y or z were to happen, then it would surely go back to how it was. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Jobs get old and pressures and circumstances change. People send their representatives in place of themselves for the first few months of a relationship. Everyone is on their best behavior at first.
So if it was great at first and you’re sitting here wondering if things will go back, your answer is most likely that you’re going to need to make the jump.
4. You Aren’t Getting Anything out of It
No one likes spinning their wheels, especially not when you’ve put a massive amount of effort into something that simply isn’t giving back. Passion is a powerful thing, and there’s no doubt that what you’re clinging to, you’re very passionate about.
But how long is too long? Do you keep telling yourself, just a little bit more, just a little bit longer? Have you lost all desire to go on? Is it sucking you dry?
Starting a business, for example, is really difficult and right off the bat you’re going to put way more in than you get out. Sometimes it takes years to see even a minimal amount of success and the process can be draining.
Only you can decide if enough is enough, if the rewards aren’t worth the effort. Only you can decide if it’s time to jump ship.
3 Times to Stay on Board
1. If You’re Loving What You Do
Sometimes not getting a return on something is okay if you are in love with it, because in a way you are getting something out of it—fulfillment. It doesn’t have to be money to be worth it.
2. If the Guy Has Been Around a While
Sometimes there are circumstances that throw people off. If your man has pulled a 180 after being consistent for a long length of time, then maybe you need to stick around and get to the bottom of the problem.
3. If the Job Is a Stepping Stone
Sometimes we need to do what we have to do, so later we can do what we want to do. Take the pain now for the greater good and keep your eyes on the prize.
Knowing when to jump ship and when to keep putting in the work is key to a balanced life in all areas. It’s not weak to jump ship and it’s not naive to keep on pushing through.
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