While guys aren’t the only ones who cheat (just read my book), they certainly have their reasons behind doing so, aside from being a scumbag of course. One of the questions I seem to come across a lot is why guys cheat on pretty girls with less attractive ones? Or why after a breakup does a guy end up with a less attractive chick?
Yes, I know. This sounds shallow, because after all—what do looks have to do with it? What does it matter if his next girlfriend is less attractive? Looks aren’t all that matters right? In our society, you’d sure as hell think so.
To a pretty girl—it matters. In fact, having your man cheating on you sucks, in general, but if she’s an Adriana Lima look-alike you at least get it. I mean, it doesn’t make the act of cheating forgivable (or her less of a skank), but it’s something you can wrap your head around.
But when a man cheats on you with someone unattractive it’s a full-blown slap to the face. A real huh? Wtf? Why? It takes away that notion that men are weak to beauty and “couldn’t help themselves” because the Adriana Lima skank seduced him. Suddenly, there is an outpouring of insecurities—because what the fuck does she have that we’re lacking? Is he blind?
You’re left focusing on her looks, or lack thereof rather than the fact that he cheated. That he strayed and there is a problem bigger than an attraction he “couldn’t help.” There is now a deeper, darker issue and the possibility that you are lacking quite a bit that he needs, and looks baby, they’re trumped by something else.
Here Are Your Reasons…
1. She was available
This is the simplest answer. When a guy is looking to cheat it rarely matters if she resembles a Chia Pet or a supermodel. Sure, they’d prefer the supermodel but let’s be honest, that usually takes some time to achieve. More often than not if they’re looking to cheat they’re just looking for someone that’s willing. Regardless of how she looks, she wants him and it makes him feel good. He isn’t sitting there weighing out your plusses against her minuses and visa versa. He’s thinking he wants to get off, not with you, and here’s someone to do it with. Boom.
Pretty Girl Fix: Nothing. If he’s going to cheat, he’s going to cheat. In this instance, all it will take is a warm, willing body. Perhaps an evaluation of your choice in men is in order?
2. You’re high-maintenance
If you are high-maintenance and into yourself, it won’t take long for a man to tire of your constant preening and primping. Your narcissism combined with insecurities (yes, women who are high-maintenance also tend to be pretty insecure) and that, my dear, is a total turn off. Men are simple and at times just want something simple. A girl who isn’t flashy and doesn’t spend hours in the mirror has more time to spend on a man… your man.
Pretty Girl Fix: Stop. Just stop. There’s more to life than having perfect hair or not having your lipstick smudged. Let him play with your hair, kiss you with lipstick on (even red lipstick) and stop looking in the mirror every 45 seconds. Learn to be okay without looking 100% perfect all the time and he will appreciate it.
3. You’re a bitch
A girl who is a 7 can easily become a 10 with a great personality. That means if you’re a solid 10 (yeah, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt) and you’re a total bitch, well, you can easily drop to a 6. The bitchier you are, the uglier you get. He’d much rather be with someone who makes him feel good than someone who is a total bitch but happens to be smoking hot.
Pretty Girl Fix: Being bitchy/angry/pissed all the time is so freaking unattractive. Your face literally morphs into an ugly mask when you open your mouth. Start taking lessons from your mama with that old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” and start practicing actual kindness. Say please and thank you, smile at strangers and treat everyone you come into contact with, with respect. You might just shoot up to a 15 on the hotness scale.
4. He’s bored with you
Along the lines of being a bitch and being high-maintenance is boredom. Dating a hot chick is always fun for a guy right off the bat. They want to show you off to their friends and the world. But what happens when that’s all there is? When at the end of the day you’re just a hot chick, an empty shell? Most men need more stimulation. Yes, men are visual, which is why porn is such a big thing, but how many times does a guy watch a porno he’s already seen? Not many. They will become desensitized and need new material. The same goes for your hotness. Beauty fades faster than you think. If you aren’t also smart, fun, nice or interesting—you’re probably boring him.
Pretty Girl Fix: I hate to break it to you but riding the looks train will get old for everyone around you. Relying on your looks alone is like showing all your cards in a poker game and expecting to win. You will lose every single time. Read, learn things, get a hobby, travel, volunteer—do things outside of being seen and being hot. Round yourself out a bit and your new personality will carry you further than your looks ever will. The combo of the two is lethal.
5. He wants out
Men can be cowards. Sometimes they want to leave you and don’t know how. Most of the time when men stray it’s with their bodies, not their emotions, but in this case he could be looking to move on and thinks another girl might do the trick. Sometimes they just want a warm body so they can begin to detach from you.
Pretty Girl Fix: Kick his ass to the curb. If he wants out and is willing to stray to get out—let him go and don’t you dare shed a tear. Chances are it’s been going downhill for a while. Pick yourself up, assess the relationship and know what not to do (or who not to choose) for next time.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how hot you are, because if a man wants to cheat, he’s going to cheat. Of course, not all guys cheat and even if you’re high-maintenance, a bitch or boring it doesn’t mean he will. But if he does, before you blame and bitch, take a look at why he may have strayed in the first place…you may be surprised at what you discover.
What are other reasons you think guys cheat on pretty girls? Do you know anyone this has happened to?
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